You were the worst thing that ever happened to me.

My heart has flown to fields of flowers and open roads
While I'm left lying in my bed.
The darkness holds little rest for weary bones.
Now turn the page, the chapter's ending.

The earth is on her knees,
as oceans cover me.
Sail your ship across my sea,
and I'll see you in my sleep.

'We'll do it all, everything On our own. We don't need Anything Or anyone.'

♥

'One minute i'm a little sweetheart, and the next you are an absolute creep.'

Into a plastic rainbow
And I have left myself to hang
In a halloween sky.

I let you tattoo a frown
Onto a face of white snow
Now I see footprints of a man
Running through my eyes.

Do I despise these perfect lies
I tell myself each night and day
Go kiss by blackened heart goodbye
I'm running out of things to play.

Hey, see I need to forget
That I've become a plastic rainbow
And I'm melting in the sun
And I have fallen from the sky
In a million multi-coloured lies.'

You said we were like sid and nancy.
sidkillednancy.
and in a way: You have killed me.
Enjoy the irony.
I cried all night while you stared serenely at the ceiling.
'Why are you different now'
'I've got you now, I don't need to impress you.'
Yet again I was seen as a pick me up, an object.
With no use but for the mechanical things, doing errands for you, someone for you to fuck.


I've Never Felt So Alive, Or So Dead♥

'Forever in control.'
'I'm always in control.'

What a nice damaging flavour of the month you have been;
ROT.


Unlike the others, I shout obscenties back. This is it without the violence, I feel my mouth saying things it would never say 'its not like this all the time'.
I could see myself changing, being moulded.
I am not a little character.
The fact I found out you were capable made me leave, capable of hurting me.
You have ground all confidence I had before into an organic, messy pulp.
Thankyou for making me realise that I was better than this.

All I really want is deliverance..#

'And all I really want is some patience
A way to calm the angry voice
And all I really want is deliverance
Do I wear you out
You must wonder why I'm so relentless and all strung out
I'm consumed by the chill of solitary
I'm like Estella
I like to reel it in and then spit it out
I'm frustrated by your apathy
And I am frightened by the corrupted ways of this land
If only I could meet the Maker.'

I'm eighteen on Friday, and as excited as I am its going to ruin everything.