'Take me where you are.'

I wish I was beautiful, and tragic.
And secretly, I want someone to run away with.



'And under wild blue skies
Marlboro ruby skies
I found a home in your eyes
And we'd never be apart

And when the fires came
The smell of cinders and rain
Perfumed almost everything
We laughed and laughed and laughed

And in the golden blue
Car you took me to
The darkest place you knew
Set fire to my heart

When I run in the dark
Daniel
Into a place that's vast
Daniel
Under a sheet of rain in my heart
Daniel
I dream of home

But in a goodbye bed
With my arms around your neck
Into our mouths our tears crept
Just kids in the eye of the storm
And as the house spun round
My dreams pulled me from the ground
Forever to search for the faith
For home again
For home again'


2009 feels stale, England is disenchanted, yet there is no new way of thinking, everything is just a rehashed copy of the past.
I feel like I am in the past, with my idealism. My mother said the other day that in the 70's everyone was just so optimistic about the future, even with the cold war, with everything.
Why can it not be like that again?
When I think that I have lived through so little. What has changed everything since I was, since I began?
I think September 11th, changed the world forever. Our perception on things.
Regardless of my views on it, we were no longer safe.
There were suddenly consequences to barbaric foreign policy. Taking people's freedom, and resources for the sake of ours, an unseen enemy, a culture clash ultimately, each as foreign as the other.
Religion vs Capitalism.
This is the new fight isn't it?
We find it impossible to believe that something else might exist, something more important than money.
It makes me feel, like giving up hope.
I really do think far too much.
I'm too young to be this old, and I am insignificant.
I want to pull apart my ribs and let the sun inside, for a rush of joy, but escape is futile.



'I'm here' she said.
He looked at her. His eyes were even more shadowed than usual. More deeply sunk in the sockets, the skin on his face bloodless in the fluorescent light. 'Oh. So you are. The Scarlet woman herself, what time is it?'
'I don't know' she said 'I haven't got my watch on''


'He looked at her with suspicion and took another drag of his cigarette. 'now listen, you should be back there, its your duty, whatshisname needs you.'
'No, you need me more than he does'
As soon as she had said it, it sounded true. Immediately. she felt noble.
He grinned 'No I don't'. You think I need to be rescued but I don't. anyway I don't like being a test case for amateur social workers' He shifted his eyes back to the washing machine.
Marian fidgeted with the leather fingers of one of her gloves, 'But I'm not trying to rescue you' she said. She realised he had tricked her into contradicting herself.
'Then maybe you want me to rescue you? What from? I thought you had it all worked out. And you know I'm totally inept anyway.'
He sounded fairly smug at his own helplessness.'- The Edible Woman









Some men aren't looking for anything logical.
They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with.
Some men just want to watch the world burn.

Its like that Graham Green book the destructors, where they burn old misery's money to see what tearing someone's world apart feels like, power. :)



Why are you so unforgettable?