Annoyed.

Okay so disliking you probably goes against everything I've ever preached, everything I believe in. But I am only human after all, and I find it hilarious that after all this you still retain the arrogance you have, towards me. Well in the end I got to upper hand didn't I? I was stronger than you and not as stupid. I will laugh at the contempt you show me. Obviously I hate him so much more, it would be silly to blame anyone else, but still. You are vacuous, shallow, weak, and aren't particularily pretty so :)
Don't tempt me, because one day I will say something. I think 'Faking slut' sums you up perfectly, and they are not my words.
And in the end, you can't ruin what is already ruined, and I would never had, if i'd have known.. Because there's such a thing as solidarity, and I would have put everything aside, because its just not right to inflict pain on someone else for oneself. But he was convincing, for a while anyway.



Well my UCAS, is being nit picked and is finally through, and pretty late actually. One of my resolutions for this year was to be more orientated to my future, it's important. Happiness is hard to achieve, but a good foundation to be happy and successful isn't in the end. I will be successful, I have a brain and i'm willing to use it. I want to go out there and prove myself, see new things. Change is an inevitable part of life, and is healthy for us, as people. And there will be people I'm going to miss, and others I will be glad to get away from as soon as possible. There are people however that I love and worry about, a lot. I can't say i've always done what is best for me, but I never feel that I went off the rails, in the past few months I've learned more about myself alone, than I ever thought possible, and that has been good for me really, I've grown up.
Some people I'm leaving behind because I wonder what they'll be like when I come back. I'm not saying this in an egotistical way, that they'll fall apart without me. But I just wonder what will happen to them. Obviously many people are thinking about this, but I don't see the point of being hated for wanting to go to University? Leicester doesn't hold anything for me, I'm not going to fail my A2 and get a dead end job, I WANT to go further. My parents aren't paying for it actually, despite popular belief, i'm going to get a loan and be independant.
I even purposely picked one not too close and not too far away, so I could come back. When you grow up, you do see people less, but you can still be in contact with them, they can mean the same. But now I'm being bitched about because I'm spending more time on college work? I wonder why you do this, surely you want the best for me? What will happen to you? i'm sorry to say it but what will, you were clever and are clever enough to do a degree, you just have no self belief. But if you are happy as you are, and I'm not worth trying on then so be it. Despite all the times i've tried to help, but obviously that wasn't good enough was it? Do you think the past few years have been a walk in the park for me? No they haven't and i'm sorry to say this, but i've been through a billion times more than you have, not like its a competion and that some of it wasn't my own doing but still. This isn't the end of anything, nessercarily, I still have friendships that I made long before we ever met.
But we've splintered off into two groups.
And if i'm the bad one, if you're going to stay like that forever. Which I would never call my life gladly, it might work for you, but I'm just pointing out :)
Then so be it, Because its pathetic.
And you say you've grown up but I really think you need to look at a few things. If you go out of your way to ruin good friendships, then there's no going back. And you can complain til hell and back about your life, but if you don't do anything about it then it will never get better, DEAD END.
You do mean more to me than anyone on the planet. But there's only so much i'm willing to take.
There are several people, who this is about.


'So sick, so sick of being tired.
And oh so tired of being sick.
We're both such magnifacent liars.
So crush me baby, I'm all ears.
So obviously desperate, so desperatly obvious.
I'll give in one more time and feed you stupid lines all about "cleaning up my act...'